2023, the year I found out being self-employed is kinda hard

Hello reader, you alright?

I’ve dabbled in blog posts, in fact, I’ve written more blog posts for others than I have for my own blog. I’ve written articles about combating insecurities, wax melts, and the release of the Barbie movie (among many others). But, I didn’t have my own blog… Until now.

I don’t know what was stopping me, perhaps the innate fear of *being perceived*, maybe the embarrassment of sharing my work, or more likely – my lack of attention span. But, nonetheless, I’m here now.

I figured my first blog should be more of an introduction than anything, a little review of 2023, the most defining year of my life. It’ll be a rambling stream of consciousness, so buckle in.

2023 is the year I decided to quit my full-time, steady, reliable job in pursuit of self-employment. Did I have a strong client base already? No. Was it the best financial decision? No. Do I regret it? No.

I started writing properly just before the pandemic started and I initially started freelancing part-time to keep myself motivated. I advertised my jobs on Fiverr at shockingly low prices, just so people could buy writing services from me and I could practise. I needed deadlines and feedback to keep me going. Hell, I wrote an entire novel for pennies, just so I could get my “first novel jitters” out of the way. The money didn’t really matter for me at that point, I just wanted to write, stay motivated, and get better. And I did.

Time crept on, I got better at writing, I saved all the money I could, and I started to plan. I was writing more than ever and suddenly, my full-time job was distracting me from what I really wanted to do – write.

Spring/summer of 2023, I handed in my notice and threw myself head first into freelancing. The dream was to spend the year writing, travelling, and doing whatever the hell I wanted. I told myself that I could always return to employment if I needed to, but if I didn’t take the plunge, I would regret it.

So, did it pay off? My savings account would likely disagree with what I’m about to say, but I think yes. I did a fair bit of ghost-writing this year, little jobs that expanded my skills and big jobs that thrilled me. One of my big jobs was actually a credited work, a novella. I was approached to co-write a hard hitting drama, a tale about a young girl following tragic circumstances. It’s available to purchase on Amazon, if you’re interested!

This was my first credited piece! My name is on the cover! Not only that, but I wrote some of this while I was travelling around Portugal. I went travelling for three weeks around the beautiful country. I would be typing away, looking at a beautiful view, and tearing up because I couldn’t quite believe my life. You know when you realise that you are living out something you once never dreamed possible? Yeah, that was me. It was an emotional holiday.

As time went on, I started picking up other jobs, other clients, other little bits here and there. I kept writing, I’ve started and paused two novels which haunt my nightmares. I’ve fought the algorithm gods on Fiverr and Upwork. But weirdly, I felt at peace. Despite the financial uncertainty of it all, the grinding of difficult work, the imposter syndrome… I felt okay. I went into freelancing, almost with the acceptance that it might not work. It’s okay if it doesn’t work. The world won’t end. I won’t be a failure and I won’t be any less of a person. All I can do is try my best. My “best” varies from day to day, but in 2023, I was proud of the effort I put in.

Not only that, but being self employed has taught me a lot about myself. My weaknesses, limitations, strengths, and weird quirks I need to keep in check. It turns out, when I don’t have a manager telling me what to do, I’ll just wander aimlessly, flitting from one task to the next, not actually achieving anything. It sounds stupid, but just learning how to be productive was a huge learning curve and perhaps I didn’t give my previous managers credit (to any of my previous managers/supervisors reading this, it turns out managing people – including yourself – is really hard. I’m sorry for any headaches I may have caused in the past, you’ll be happy to know, I’m only giving myself the headaches now). So, I consider training myself to be a vaguely productive individual as an achievement in itself.

So, I guess the question to ask myself next is: what’s 2024 going to be like? Well, for starters it will be the make or break year for my freelancing career. Will I keep freelancing, or will I go back to traditional employment? At the moment, I really want to keep writing. I love my life. I love writing. I love the freedom. But, that’ll take more work, discipline, and luck. I’m working on it.

There’s a couple of projects in the pipeline that I’m really proud of, so you’ll have to keep your eyes out for that. Plus, I have a lot of fun ideas for stories, which I might be posting on here too.

Thanks for reading this first post. It didn’t have much of a point, I warned you it would be a bit of a ramble. I do have some more coherent blogs planned, maybe some reviews, writing tips, etc. But, for the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this nonsense. Let me know what you think, I love hearing feedback.